How to Handle the Situation when He Doesn't Call After a Date

photo credit: SheKnows UK

Ever sat in front of your phone (or computer), expecting to hear back from a man that you had a great date with? I'm sure most of you have. You sit there thinking about how handsome the man was, how great the conversation was, and how delicious the dinner was. A smile appears on your face and you light up inside. However, you realize that it's been about a week, and you haven't heard from him.

Suddenly, the smile disappears and you feel puzzled: 

"Maybe he forgot my number." 

"Maybe something horrible happened to him." 

"Maybe he is busy at work, he is very important, you know." 

"Maybe he is dealing with a family emergency?"

We fail to realize the possibility that the date may not have been as good for him as it was for us. We fail to realize that he doesn't care to maintain contact with you, because, well, he didn't connect with you.

We call him, thinking that maybe he forgot your number. He doesn't answer. You leave a message on his voice mail, with your number included in the message. He doesn't call back. The next day, you call him again. It goes straight to voice mail. You leave a message, and again, he doesn't call back. Now, disappointment ensues. "Why hasn't he called?" "Why hasn't he called ME back?"

There are two sides to every story.

Dating is a he said/she said environment. If both the male and female have a different story about how a date went, obviously you both didn't connect on a higher level. In your eyes, the date went well. He smiled a lot, listened to you talk, maintained eye contact with you, and hugged you before parting ways. All the signs of interest were there.

Or were they?

Guys go on dates in order to see what kind of woman sparks their interest, on a deeper level. True, you met the qualifications, appearance-wise, but, did you spark his interest, intellectually? If he isn't making contact with you after the date, you may not have sparked his interest. He doesn't know how to tell you he isn't interested, because he's afraid of hurting your feelings.

"Well, I called him...why didn't he call me back?"

The primal nature of the male is that they are the hunters. If they want something bad enough, they get it, including women.

Guys like being in charge, so if a woman pursues a man, they are less likely to be interested in you. Yes, we live in more progressive times, but, dating is still an old-fashioned environment. Don't take control of the situation. Let him lead.

If a man is truly interested in a woman, it doesn't matter how busy a guy is, he makes the call. Sometimes, he may call a few times a day, even if he hates the phone. If you've stolen the man's heart, he will bend over back words to make you happy. Guys find a way to communicate with the object of their desire.

"So, he isn't interested in me. Now what?"

Live your life as you did before you went out to dinner with 'Mr. Handsome/Nice Smile.' It isn't the end of the world if you didn't meet his interest. Not all guys meet YOUR interest, right? I'm sure you don't call those guys back. Like men, you don't know how to tell them you don't like them and you don't want to hurt their feelings. Both sexes do it, so it's hard to hold either in a higher standard.

Dating is a he said/she said environment, an old-fashioned environment. If both the male and female have a different story about how a date went, obviously you both didn't connect. If a guy doesn't call you, it isn't the end of the world. Keep living your life, and the right guy will come around when you least expect it.

Maintaining Relationship Boundaries and Loving from Afar

photo credit: angermanagementresource

To read more about relationship boundaries, click on the above photo. You will be transferred to Amazon.

Relationships can be exciting, intoxicating, and overall powerful. But, they can be a world of trouble if you allow it to take control over your entire life.

Once you begin a relationship, many people are at risk of spending TOO much time with their new loves and less time with their friends and family. We've all done it. When things begin to get serious in a relationship, life becomes more of a "we" and less of an "I." While becoming a "we" in life is pretty exciting, you need to remember that alone time in relationships is just as important as together time in relationships.

What I mean is, if you spend TOO much time together, you could grow tired of your love and begin to resent them. Spending time apart is healthy. Let your significant other have some alone time. Let them watch TV on their own, or play computer games by themselves for a few hours. Let them go out with their friends and not go with them. Go out with your friends without your other half. Watch TV on your own. Go for a walk by yourself. Take yourself out.

Just because you are in a relationship, it doesn't mean you stop the relationship you have with yourself. You NEED to keep strengthening that relationship you have with yourself. You need to keep that self-esteem leveled. You need to keep your confidence there. Yes, you want to spend time with the one you love, but, in love, you also need to make sacrifices for the one you love. Give the one you love some space to breath and be on their own for a little bit. You know they love you. You know they are coming home to you. Why spend 24/7 with them when you know you will spend the rest of your life with them?
Also, you need this time alone just as much as they do. Get stuff done too. You know you have stuff to do. Tackle that project that you've been putting off. In no time, that gnawing feeling to go sit by your beloved will fade away and you will be focused on your project. Time will fly by, and you and your beloved will soon reunite and it will be perfect.

Friends, you NEED boundaries in any relationships, and in marriages. If you love the person(s) in your life, give them the space they need to keep them sane. You aren't neglecting them by giving them the space. You are LOVING them from afar. :-)