Showing posts with label Bipolar Disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bipolar Disorder. Show all posts

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Today is National Bipolar Awareness Day!

photo credit: suhanijian

An estimated 5.7 million people in the United States live with Bipolar Disorder.

A person with Bipolar Disorder experiences extreme mood swings from mania to depression. The mania is associated with abnormal levels of happiness and irritability. Occasionally, the Bipolar individual will experience psychosis with mania. During mania, the individual makes poor decisions and also faces a lack of sleep.
During the depressive mood swing, the individual has a poor outlook on life. The individual may be having thoughts of suicide or self-injury.


photo credit: suhanijain

Bipolar Disorder is genetic and environmental factors can trigger the Bipolar mood swings.
Bipolar is a life-long disorder and is stabilized by medication and therapy. If the Bipolar individual is a danger to themselves and/or others, they are hospitalized and evaluated.

Many individuals who have Bipolar Disorders also have anxiety disorder.

There is a stigma associated with Bipolar Disorder. Society sees Bipolar individuals as psychotic, dangerous, and criminal. While there are Bipolar individuals who fall under the category of dangerous, not all of us are. Those of us who are in treatment (and take meds regularly) are able to function well in society. Those who do not accept treatment are the ones who are at risk for becoming dangerous to themselves and others.

Bipolar Disorder is serious and treatment is extremely important.

My story:
I am the product of two parents who suffer from mental illness. My dad suffers from depression, and my mom suffers from Bipolar Disorder. I have suffered from depression for most of my life. My first experience with depression happened when I was very very young.
In 2009, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. I will never forget that year. I was in college, working a double load, and holding down a full-time job. Around exam time, I noticed my behavior had changed. I became impulsive, irritable, stressed, abnormally happy, and incredibly depressed. I would be super manic, and then I would crash. I couldn't focus and I ended up failing my finals miserably. I was self-injuring and during a manic episode I dropped out of college. I remember walking around campus crying and freaking out.
I went to my doctor and she diagnosed me. I was almost hospitalized because she saw the cuts on my arms.
Luckily, I was able to find a good mix of medication that has stabilized me. I still have manic and depressive mood swings, but they do not last as long. I've spent time learning about what triggers my moods, and I'm able to identify which moods are the Bipolar Disorder, and which moods are my "normal" self. Knowing this, and using healthy coping techniques, has saved my life. If I weren't taking my medication regularly and not using healthy coping techniques, I wouldn't be here today.
Sometimes I DO forget to take my meds, and it really messes me up. I make sure I take my meds at the next dosage.

My Bipolar mood swings do scare me. I think about how frazzled my mind gets and I think about the extremes of my mood. My stress is always high, sometimes I am crying for no reason, and, at times, I experience psychosis. I think that people talk about me behind my back, and I think that people believe I am a worthless human being. I have it in my mind that these people don't think I'm good enough.
I don't talk about it with anyone, which IS a problem. I pretty much internalize it. Deep down, I know that those thoughts aren't true, it's just my Bipolar trying to trick me.
These issues (and more) are the reason why I make darn sure I take my medication. The last thing I need, and others need, is a meltdown. My meltdowns are NOT pretty.

It is important for Bipolar individuals to take meds regularly. Not doing so, even for a day, can trigger mood swings.

I was called every name in the book in grade school, and I was even stigmatized at a job for having Bipolar Disorder. Educating society about mental illness can help lower the rate of bullying and suicide.

The reason why I talk about my story is because I want others to know that they are NOT alone! I used to think that I was alone. I want to be the person I wish I had back in the day. We have to empower each other. We are the only ones who understand what we are going through.

Like I mentioned before, Us Bipolars are not dangerous. Most of us are receptive to treatment, and are able to function beautifully everyday. We are able to have stable relationships and raise children with no problem.
We don't deserve to be stigmatized. I will continue to fight for people who have mental illness(es). These are my people, and none of us deserve ill treatment from society. We are fighting a battle that you will never understand, and those of us in treatment fight the battle with a smile on our face.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Remembering Robin Williams 1951-2014 (and an important message about depression)

photo credit: nbcbayarea

Yesterday, the world lost an amazing and iconic performer. Robin Williams was found dead at his home of an apparent suicide. He was 63 years old. He leaves behind a loving wife and three children.
Williams had been in the entertainment industry for several decades and captured the hearts of millions around the world. Some of his most notable works include: "Mork and Mindy," "Good Morning, Vietnam," "Dead Poet's Society," "Mrs. Doubtfire," "Hook," "Aladdin," and "The Birdcage."

photo credit: picstopin

While he delighted the world through his stand up comedy and through the small and big screen, he battled inner demons behind the scenes. He battled a cocaine addiction in the 1970s and early 1980s. The death of his friend John Belushi and the birth of his son Zak helped him overcome his addictions.
After being sober for 20 years, he relapsed in 2003 and checked himself into treatment in 2006.
Williams also battled depression and possible Bipolar disorder.
Depression (and Bipolar disorder) are serious mental disorders. Once these illnesses take hold of a person, it severely impacts the life and spirit of the person.

My story:
I should know because I battle with both of these illnesses every day of my life. I've battled depression for most of my life, and I've battled Bipolar disorder since 2009. I know what it's like to be so low that the only way out is to end your life. I've stared at sharp objects, a bottle of pills, a bottle of alcohol, a rope, and wondered if everyone in my life would be better off without me. In fact, I have overdosed, too many times. I've had some close-calls. While I don't know Robin Williams personally, his death hits home for me, since he is a brother in the fight against depression.
While I am in treatment for both illnesses, I do have low moments, especially during trigger points and stressful times. But I have techniques to overcome my thoughts. I use coping techniques and talk myself out of my low points. I write. I talk to someone. I do what I can so I don't harm myself. Since 2000, I have not attempted suicide, and since 2011, I have not self-harmed. I will battle this for the rest of my life, but I know how to talk myself out of hurting myself.

Robin Williams is someone that I loved watching in movies (and on "Mork and Mindy"). My favorite movie of his was "Mrs. Doubtfire." Williams had this larger than life personality and you couldn't help but fall in love with him.
I am still in shock that he is gone. The entire world is in shock. He was one of my all-time favorite actors and he will be forever missed.

RIP Robin Williams! You will be forever loved and adored!

Readers: What is your favorite Robin Williams movie?

*If you are (or someone you know is) struggling with depression, please call 1-800-273-TALK. Someone is available to speak with you 24/7/365. These people truly care about what you are going through and want to help you. Please call if you are in crisis.*