photo credit: bdnews24
Today, September 10th, is World Suicide Prevention Day.
At least 3,000 people around the world commit suicide on a daily basis. In a year, that equals to around 1 million people.
That number is just mind-boggling.
"Oh, they are just doing it for attention!"That above statement is said by those who don't truly know what it means to be depressed enough to contemplate suicide. Those people don't take the time to understand what the other person is going through.
The world of a depressed person is dark and lonely. Life becomes a prison, a death sentence. Everyday is a nightmare that you cannot escape. You feel as if everyone would be better off if you were gone. You look at yourself in the mirror and all you feel is hate. You feel worthless, ugly, hopeless, and a burden on your loved ones. You feel as if no one cares whether you live or die.
See, these feelings are not felt by individuals "looking for attention." These feelings are painful and real. These individuals who are that depressed feel that there is no way out.
Thoughts of suicide are influenced by many triggers. Folks who are born with the genetic marker for depression are at a much higher risk for suicide.
Thoughts of suicide can also be caused by environmental, psycho-social, and cultural factors (in the depression and bipolar communities, we call these 'triggers').
World Suicide Prevention Day started in 2003 and it is run by IASP (the WHO also co-sponsors the event).
The goal of World Suicide Prevention Day is to:
- Raise awareness about suicide prevention
- Improve the public's knowledge about depression and suicide
- Have this awareness spread across the globe
- Attempt to eliminate the stigma that goes along with depression and suicide
I was born with the genetic marker for depression. Both my parents struggle with mental illness, so, of course, I was going to inherit some of those genes.
I have been clinically depressed since I was 7. I didn't have an ideal upbringing and I went through a lot of scary moments. Before I turned 8, I was hospitalized (in a psychiatric hospital) for scratching my arms until they bled. That was my first experience with cutting. I hated who I was, and those feelings increased as I got older.
When I hit my teen years, my mental health was at its lowest point. I was diagnosed with severe Depression, Oppositional Defiance Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Schizo-affective Disorder (Schizo-affective Disorder is MUCH different from Schizophrenia). I was in and out of psychiatric hospitals for 10 years (from ages 7 to 17). During this time, I was cutting with knives and I was suicidal. I tried choking myself in hopes of permanently passing out. I overdosed many many times (I once overdosed while I was in school). I tried slitting my own throat. I had some close calls. I didn't think I would make it to my 18th birthday (not many people did). My last suicide attempt happened around my 18th birthday. I was rushed to the hospital and treated.
I genuinely wanted to die. I was disliked by my peers, I put my dad through hell, and I felt like the most disgusting being on earth. I felt like my existence was a cruel joke. Boys wouldn't even talk to me because of my weight and I was bullied relentlessly.
I'm going to be 32 in December, and I'm in a much better place than I was back then. I haven't attempted suicide since before my 18th birthday. I haven't cut or burned myself since 2010. Do I still have thoughts about hurting myself? Yes. I just don't act on those thoughts. I've overcome a lot since then, but I still have my struggles, especially during tough times. In 2009, I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Panic Disorder. I take my meds every day and use coping techniques to help myself out of my depressive mood swings. I actually know when my thoughts are manic or depressive. When my Bipolar starts cycling, I have to remember to breathe and acknowledge that something is wrong. I take a step back, tell myself that these thoughts are due to my illness, and I problem-solve ways to overcome these thoughts. This method can take days, weeks, and even months, but I know that I'm in a good place, because I know what is happening and I refuse to give in to my disorder.
Conclusion:
Suicide is 100% preventable. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please talk to someone. There are people out there that DO understand. I know all too well about these thoughts. I'm always available to talk to you if you need someone to vent to or cry to. I didn't have anyone that I could talk to, and I spent a lot of time in my 20s wanting to be THAT PERSON who could be there for someone who is going through what I went through.
I know how real your feelings are, and I know how real your desire is to end your life. Please don't do it. There is hope. I'm walking proof that things can turn around. I'm glad to be alive. I'm glad that I didn't succeed in my attempts all those years ago. You just have to take it one day at a time. If that is too long, take things one minute or one hour at a time.
You CAN be a success story too. Please don't give up on yourself. We are much stronger than we realize. You may not believe that you can be a success, but just read my story and understand that things CAN change for you too.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a number I have called (a family member was contemplating suicide and I called to get them help), and the people on the other line are caring, wonderful people. They are available 24/7/365.
Please call them if you need someone to talk to. Their number is: 1-800-273-TALK.
Also, if you want to chat with me, you can email me at: shausil82@gmail.com
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